Shame is the red-headed stepchild of guilt. And like Cinderella, if you dwell in the spiritual abyss  shame creates, you are stuck sweeping up the ashes. Only the abyss is your life not a house.

Most everyone has felt ashamed at some point or another.

Think about it–how many times have we heard or said the words shame on you? Then think about how you felt when those words were said to you; then think about the reaction and expression on the face of the person who had those words said to him or her, especially if you were the one to say them.

A close friend of mine who is a therapist once told me that guilt was easy to address and treat but shame; shame was a whole other story. She reasoned that shame is a deep-seated, often repressed, self-belief that one is not worthy, that one is inherently evil and bad.Shame affects our perception of self-image, self-acceptance, and impairs our self-improvement and personal development.

She contends feeling ashamed often starts at childhood and lasts a lifetime if not addressed. She said the type of external which becomes internal programming associated with shame can be devastating to a person’s ability to experience joy, to appreciate the beauty in life and in one’s life, which creates stunted emotional growth as well as stunted, unfulfilled lives.

The result is a life of not only shame but pain. But we can heal from the pain and we can transform and overcome shame.

The way to heal from the damaging psychological effects  shame implements on the psyche begins with understanding the root source and initial cause of the emotion. Once this is deciphered , address it, and then ultimately create a new equilibrium, a new balance, and most of all new internal dialog within oneself and one’s life.




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